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When you’re bad at math and a problems seems too easy

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I will now refer to shade as cloud shadows and people’s shadows as human shade

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Holy shit I just realized when clouds block out the sun were standing in a clouds shadow….

CLOUDS HAVE SHADOWS!!!!!

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I always wondered do women get the equivalent feeling we men get, some days I wake up it’s just like

"Damn I feel good, look at these muscles, this dick is fucking legendary".

Do women just go “
Yeah look at this face im one pretty motherfucker, MY TITS ARE FUCKING AWESOME”!

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If your goals don’t seem impossible to others you’re not aiming high enough.

Always aspire for greatness beyond what you think you are capable of.

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On my way to work got to earn this money for classes

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Working the over night shift is throwing my morning wood schedule off

trying to go to sleep like 

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Girl: I only date thugs

me: girl I move bricks and rocks every night.

Girl: mm okay…

me: *she don’t even know I work at Home Depot*

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 So today I finally got to catch up on American Horror Story: Coven, before the new episode comes on tonight,  I see the part where the Supreme goes to see The Voodoo Queen and first the thing the supreme lets her do is put her hands in her hair.

let me repeat that VOODOO QUEEN and you let her put her hands in your HAIR.

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Chicago Bears tight end Martellus Bennett (83) crosses the goal line after a reception to score the game-winning touchdown late in the second half of an NFL football game on Sunday against the Minnesota Vikings, Sunday, Sept. 15, 2013, in Chicago. Vikings cornerback Chris Cook (20) defends. The Bears won 31-30. (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

Source: Yahoo!
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I make it to 95th station and a large group of people standing at the stop so I ask this woman 

Me: Excuse me how long have you been waiting for the bus?

Woman:*looks me dead in the face and says* I JUST CAME, SORRY

I BUST out laughing all I could say is

me: You’re welcome.

she gave me the dirtiest looks till the bus came……wait…..LOL 

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sportstalkflorida:

Jay Cutler Leads Bears To Victory

Sluggish for most of the afternoon, the Chicago Bears found their rhythm in time to make Marc…

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Source: sportstalkflorida